Lola Medicine Keeper, Ego Taming Erryday
06 July 2017
EGO TRIPS are not always what they seem…
I have been on vacation for almost two weeks… and as I stepped away from most of my work and nearly all of my distractions, it became clear as day just how much mental space my ego still has…
And certainly not in the “Egotistical” sense that most of us still imagine is what being in the ego looks like…
No, I am not walking around with an inflated view of myself…
For most of us, our ego trip is quite the contrary. At least, this is how it is for me.
No, ego looks like me judging my legs and their dappled texture in certain lights. Ego looks like me making up stories about how I’ll somehow personally screw up our chance at getting the loan for our soul home. Ego looks like me feeling not good enough, qualified enough, fun enough, beautiful enough, intuitive enough, magical enough, shaman-priestess enough. I am too practical. Too down to earth. Too in love with being in control. Too lazy.
My ego has a megaphone in my mind.
And I am so so so tired of it. I am tired of hiding… Hiding my beauty, wisdom, curiosity, strength, magic, wonder, skills, and voice. Hiding my incredible, real, bona fide sacred partnership.
I am tired of being so hard on myself while being so lenient, kind, and compassionate to others.
I am tired of being tired.
And so, I say ENOUGH. Right here, right now, to be witnessed by myself and whoever else arrives here.
I love you. I appreciate you and understand that you are only doing your best to care for me and keep me safe.
And I am done letting you have control of me. This is my one life to live. My only time with this voice, this beauty, these strengths, this character, this willingness, this relationship, these children, these dreams, this heart.
I love you. I vow to not only hear you, but to *listen* to what you have to say.
I promise to use my incredible mental strength for greater focus and take inspired action to help your essence channel through me with greater potency and ever expanding integrity, devotion, and courage.
Lola Medicine Keeper
Your body, vessel, and channel.